Self-Trust

When we notice our mistakes or our inconsistencies, it's easy to label ourselves as a failure. But becoming the best we can be is a continual process, not a destination. 

Transcript

Self-Trust 0:00

Hey there, Friday fans, it's bonus episode day. And this week follows on a little bit from the resilience episode from the first of the month 'cause I had a bit more to say about how we can lose trust in ourselves if we criticise ourselves when we get knocked down in life. Especially if all we do is call ourselves a failure when we inevitably drop the ball because humans do. Now, you might have failed in your goal of daily action. That might be a fact. You can't deny it, but if that happens, you need to know that that doesn't mean that you are a failure. On the surface you might think that people with a fear of feeling like a failure might be more consistent in their habits, and that's likely true, but it isn't that motivational 'cause It also means living in fear. It means taking the action but not actually feeling good for doing it. And when there's no reward, there's no motivation. We're back to that familiar story of dichotomous thinking, aren't we? All or nothing, black or white thinking. I'm either doing it every day or I'm not doing it at all. And then when we inevitably don't 'cause of one thing or another, it feels like evidence that we shouldn't even have started in the first place. But you are human and it's quite likely that you won't be completely consistent at something. You will miss days or weeks before you notice and then get back on it. Consistency is great. It's what turns routines into habits and habits into unconscious automatic rituals. But it always comes with exceptions. And so should always come with an acknowledgement that that's okay. Because it's not the missing a day that causes the issue. It's what you do with it that causes you to either carry on or give up. The key to keeping it going is to accept that setbacks are just part of the process and you carry on regardless because you deserve that respect. 'cause you lose trust in yourself if you frame it negatively. And you need to trust yourself in order to carry on with it. No matter how many times you've called yourself a waste of space in the past, you might even find yourself calling yourself a waste of space again. As you're starting again. You could be actually taking action. And still that voice might say, who do you think you are? Well, you can't trust someone who talks to you like that. You wouldn't in the outside world. So you can't expect that with that sort of inner voice you're gonna build any self-trust either. And I know it's hard to not beat yourself up if you've been doing it all your life, but with the awareness of the influence you have over yourself, things can change. But it starts with self-awareness, understanding your values, your strengths, your weaknesses, getting to know yourself, which then lays the foundations of self-trust. So take some time to think about how you've developed, how the you that you were influences the you that you are now, and how your experiences have shaped you and acknowledging the lessons they carry. That's self-awareness. And like I always say, you need realistic expectations. Often we set the bar for ourselves way higher than we would ever set them for other people. And that leads to self-doubt when we inevitably fall short, the exact opposite of self-trust. But by establishing and committing to achievable goals, we create a path where our successes are just a series of small yet motivational victories. Especially when you couple that up with a respectful narrative, you talk to yourself respectfully, talking to yourself in the same way that you would to others. Well commit to doing that and honour that commitment, not just the commitment to take the steps to achieve your goals. 'cause an essential practise for fostering self-trust is self-compassion. Acknowledge your efforts and celebrate your wins, and learn from your setbacks without the harsh judgement So be lenient with yourself when life gets in the way, but do make sure that you honour the commitments you make to yourself as much as you can. As always, there's more about this topic and so much more on my Patreon page, hop on board, there's a seven day free trial, and then it's only six pounds a month anyway, and it might just improve your life. Have a lovely weekend, everyone. Take care of yourself. Bye for now.