Social Capital

This week I'm looking at how everyday moments with others help us feel more connected. From quick chats to shared experiences, we explore what fills our social meter and what happens when it runs low. It’s a gentle reminder to reach out, notice those around us, and stay open, even when it feels easier to hide.

Transcript

Richard: 0:00

Hello folks. It's Friday again, nearly the weekend. And whether you are gonna be curled up on the sofa or out and about, I hope you're going to do what feeds you. And that might mean rest. It might mean productivity. There are no rules here.'cause sometimes what you need isn't about being introverted or extroverted. It's about where your energy's sitting right now. If your social battery's already full from last week. A quiet weekend might lift your spirits more than a social one, but if you've been running on an empty, maybe a natter with a mate or even a smile from a stranger is just what you need. Which brings me onto something that I've been thinking about lately, A concept called social capital, which I know sounds a bit technical, but it's really just about human connection. Imagine an internal fuel tank that fills up whenever we feel connected to somebody else. Now, that can come from a deep, heartfelt chat with a friend, but also just literally a passing smile on the train or a quick Hello in the supermarket aisle. In transactional analysis, these can get referred to as strokes. You either give a stroke or you receive a stroke. And these strokes, this social capital, is what binds us all together. Not through grand gestures, but the everyday moments that say I see you. Like when I went to the supermarket the other week for some bread, I ended up changing my mind, putting something back, and then going to get a big massive French stick because French stick, isn't it? So I was walking down this aisle with this giant breadstick, poking out my basket. This woman clocks it and says to her son, Oh, we need one of them. And I could see she was about to head in the wrong direction. So I just sort of pointed her towards the right aisle, that's all. And she smiled. And I smiled, and that was it. Just a tiny throwaway interaction that just fills up our tank just a little bit. And these moments, these seemingly little strokes, they aren't nothing. They're the glue that holds our social fabric together. And the more of them we have, the more resilient we feel, the more likely to cope well with stress we are. To empathise with others, to feel like we belong. And that's something that many of us are craving without even realising it. Especially now in this very remote age when working from home and digital connections have made it easier than ever to drift. So we might be sending quick memes to somebody or a little DM and thinking that we're staying in touch, but the emotional depth, the shared space, the I'm really here with you, that's what often goes missing and it matters. Sometimes it's the shared experiences that top up our social capital the most, the pub nights, the weekend retreats, even just being stuck in a traffic jam with a guy you're with. A colleague, just laughing about it later on. These little things, they become part of our story, our connection, which we don't always get through screens. Now we can to a degree, if it's done properly. A good discord server of like-minded folk can absolutely be better than nothing. And if that's your thing. Do that as much as you like. And of course not everyone needs the same kind of connection at the same time. For some, a quiet walk with someone tops them up just as much as a loud dinner party would for somebody else. And that's okay. But if you ever feel like something's missing, bit a loneliness creeping in, it might be time to check in with your social capital. And that doesn't mean throwing yourself into a crowd. It literally could just be a smile to somebody in the supermarket. Just a message, a recognition of presence when somebody's talking to you. In the full episode over on Patreon, I dive a bit deeper into this about why these moments are so important to us, how we might be emotionally shutting down to protect ourselves, and how to gently reconnect even if it feels hard. So. If this resonates or if you're just fancy topping up your own social capital a little bit today, come and join me on Patreon, because connection doesn't have to be deep or dramatic to be meaningful. Sometimes it's just pointing somebody towards the right bread aisle, and that's powerful too, in its way. Anyway, have a lovely weekend. Whatever you do, I'll speak to you again soon. Bye for now.